The Vengeful Robin Page 4

  Call me crazy, but the words Smite said to me yesterday kept rolling over and over in my head. And the more I thought about it, the more I knew he was right. It had been too long since we had seen or heard something from my uncle. King John might not have looked it, but he was vicious—maybe even quite mad—and he knew how to play the game and who to surround himself with.

  The general being one of them.

  Which was why, when I decided to drop Smite a note this morning, I knew something was wrong the instant I neared the castle. The guards around my old home had been doubled, and while usually the outside teemed with people going to market, the gate was closed.

  At my words, concern dissipated from Jon’s face and the lines that furrowed his brow smoothed out as he rolled his eyes. "And how would you actually know? It's not like you see him frequently and compare notes on his daily timetable."

  Ava tried placing her hand back on his shoulder, and almost as if he were unconscious of his actions, Jon shrugged her off and reached for me, and pulled me close. My heart gave a small tug.

  Stupid heart.

  The aroma of cinnamon drifted to me—a scent I forever associated with him. I yearned to crumble into the strength of his arms, but I held myself rigid against him. It wasn’t his job to make me feel safe anymore. It wasn’t anybody’s.

  Our faces were inches apart, and his full lips tightened before he pushed words out that maybe surprised both of us. “Or do you? Have you been seeing him without telling me?"

  Seconds ago, I fought not to fall into his arms, and now hurt and fury rose in me at his questions.

  I didn't follow all his rules, but I always kept him informed when I left camp. And I obeyed what he’d said about taking someone with me. I chose to take Claius to see Smite this last time because previously Jon had always come with me.

  I cut my eyes to Ava; her arms crossed as she took in Jon’s closeness to me.

  Good. Let her think we were more than we were.

  His breath wafted across my cheek, a hint of mint telling me he had just brushed his teeth. Even when he was angry, I wanted to press my lips against his.

  Why was he so angry?

  He couldn’t be jealous. The ladies here in the camp begged for nights with him, hence the woman in here with us now.

  He wasn’t the one who was lonely.

  With great restraint, I resisted the heat of his body so close to mine, and the smells that used to comfort me. "What if I did, Jon? Does it really matter? Does it matter if I have a whole slew of men?" I pointed to Ava. "I don't think she minds who I sleep with, as long as it isn't you."

  I couldn't help the sneer in my voice as I held myself together for a little bit longer. I could go to my tent and fall apart then. No one cared once I walked into my tent… not even Jon. "And Jon, I don’t want to sleep with anyone. Not that it matters. I just want to make sure my friend is all right.”

  I paused and glanced at Ava before looking back at Jon, tears blurring my vision. “The friend who helped rescue me and made sure I was safe. And has since helped me—helped us—save others.”

  With a resolve that steeled my back and protected my heart, I walked out of his tent, not looking back. I turned a deaf ear when he called my name and couldn’t hear the mumbled words he said to Ava. I was done.

  That was until a massive shadow fell over me.

  Claius.

  "Hold on there, little bit."

  As a giant of a man, many found him easy to fear at first. In reality, his soul was twice as gentle as he was big.

  Raven hair hung down his back, curling at its ends, and with skin almost as dark, he could walk amongst the shadows and listen to the whispers of the camp. He was entrancing. But what really got me was his eyes… they truly held people captive, with a green that shone so bright I drowned myself in an endless sea anytime I looked at him.

  When I’d first been brought in, he was one of three people who nursed me back to health. Besides Jon and Lily, he’d sat at my bedside the most, reading and telling me stories and the gossip he heard.

  He’d become a trusted friend I relied on—especially when things ended with Jon.

  When it was time for me to leave Jon’s protection, Claius showed me the ropes and set me up with my own tent.

  Claius had become my safety net.

  His gaze roamed down my body, taking in my appearance. Emotions were more than likely pouring off me. Claius always seemed to know what I was feeling. Which sometimes, like now, was good, when I couldn’t voice the hurt and confusion swirling inside me. I didn’t need to tell him or express how once again I yearned to run away. To hide. He’d probably already guessed. It was like that with us.

  With a nod of his head, his large hand enveloped mine, the warmth searing into my palm as he tugged me towards the forest, away from the prying eyes of the camp. "All right, then, why don't me and you go somewhere we can talk?"

  Gently he pulled me against his gigantic body. I’m not a small woman, but he still managed to make me feel tiny. Like this, I was hidden away from the world.

  Claius always smelled of the woods he loved to frequent—a mixture of pine and sandalwood. It made it seem like he was part of the forest, or maybe the forest was a part of him. Either way, with his woodsy scent surrounding me, the emotions that had threatened to erupt mere seconds ago settled. And I didn't mind so much the people around who stopped to watch. All I focused on was the man beside me who smelled of pine, smoke, and earth.

  We hurried to the coverage of the trees, where their trunks became our doors to another world of our own making. The sun peeked through the small spots where the canopy had dared to let it invade our small solace.

  Dazed by the beauty and my encounter with Jon and Ava, I allowed Claius to lead me deeper into the shadows of the wild forest.

  Every night when I couldn’t sleep—which was frequent—I patrolled around the village, looking for things that were never there. But the forest was one of the places I never checked. It hadn’t made sense to. Any soldier who ventured too deep usually never came out, and yet somehow Claius walked through unafraid and unharmed. Maybe the rumors of people going missing weren’t true. But when I thought back to the storytellers and the fear in their eyes, I remembered every story had a hint of truth.

  Bright colors caught my eye and I turned slightly to see beautiful red and golden flowers swaying from the gentle breeze, while a bed of blue flowers decorated the forest floor.

  This was the reason it was called the enchanted forest.

  * * *

  Rumors and tales had kept me from seeing this world Claius showed me. Apparently, I was too scared to do a lot of things. Like cut ties with the man who for some reason continued to break my heart.

  The heart I kept telling myself was already broken.

  Not letting go of my hand, Claius continued tugging me deeper. And with each step, things I had never seen before grabbed my attention, including one other thing… Silence.

  The forest was quiet.

  Unearthly quiet.

  The birds that had been twittering before had gone missing.

  And for reasons unknown, the silence soothed me.

  Like this, the forest reminded me of Claius. Here he seemed more at ease than I had ever seen him. The tense, corded muscles I was used to seeing strained now seemed relaxed, while lines around his eyes had entirely disappeared. Here and now, the things that had been plaguing the both of us seemed to drift away with the breeze. We were just two people wandering the dark forest alone, and I liked it.

  I also never realized how much I liked to be alone and how much crowds and people bothered me.

  Now I could look back, small things showed me that I had probably always been like that. Preferring the company of a few good people instead of many.

  My instincts were always on high, to the point where I became studious of others. Now I was jumpy. Everyone was a possible enemy. But out here with just Claius and the soft sound of the leaves as they rustl
ed, as if to reach for the sky just out of reach… it was nice.

  Claius meandered down a well-worn path—I guessed from his own making. This was where he had to have been going when I couldn’t find him in camp.

  It made sense he would have a secret hideaway.

  The path ended in front of the biggest oak I had ever seen. Following a wink and small squeeze of my fingers, Claius let go of me, before walking over and placing his hand on the oak.

  Silent, careful not to disturb Claius, he almost communicated with the tree. Its long, thick branches stretched out toward the sky. The twisted knots in the trunk resembled the wizened face of an old man staring back at me.

  The winds blew around us and yet the branches barely moved. Instead, small leaves rustled around my feet.

  Claius turned back to me, his vivid eyes meeting mine. With a secret smile gracing his lips, he sank slowly down against the roughened bark of the giant oak tree. A picture of relaxation, his eyes stayed honed in on me as his body seemed to lounge against the tree. Their dark green pools kept me standing still with his intense stare. He was more relaxed and happier than I had ever seen him, as his eyes slowly drifted shut. Walking around in the small area between us, I took in his face and how the shadows of the leaves played along his now-closed eyes. He really was a beautiful man. With high cheekbones and a Roman nose, he had a face most women would be jealous of. His breathing evened out, and I wondered if he had fallen asleep.

  Caught up in watching this beautiful specimen of a man, I jumped when he spoke. "You could join me if you like."

  I rolled my eyes, thinking he couldn’t see, but when a low bark of laughter followed, I knew he had been peeking between his lids.

  For such a big man, he could be awfully childish. With a smile at his impish ways, I walked around the tree, making him wait to see what I would do. Something about him made me want to act young. To push the rest of the world away. For it just to be his world and I was allowed in it. Once I’d rounded the tree, I promptly sat down beside him, then mimicked him by closing my eyes.

  Complete silence overtook us. The only sound was of the crickets and their sweet chirps. The rhythm of his breathing lulled me into a sense of calmness. And with it, time to think.

  Why was I so messed up over Jon? I was the one who said I wanted space when I got out of the dungeon. I was the one who wanted to keep things casual.

  To keep my distance.

  But when I thought of Ava, and maybe all the others… I couldn’t help but get mad and think maybe he should have tried harder. That maybe if he had cared just a bit for me that he wouldn't have jumped into bed with the first girl who walked by.

  That maybe if he cared he would have tried harder to have me.

  That maybe he would have tried to fix what was broken.

  But was that really fair of me?

  "Sometimes things are never as they seem. And if they are, well... you got two choices."

  Opening my eyes, I turned my head to find Claius watching me. For how long I had no clue. He was always so eerily quiet, and I was often caught unaware around him.

  Not letting him know much he unraveled me, I raised an eyebrow and bit back, "And what are the two choices?"

  He smiled, seeing through my shortness. "To accept it is what it is and continue forward."

  I nodded. "And the other?"

  He barked out a laugh, his white teeth flashing handsomely against his darker skin. "To fight like hell to change it. You are the master of your destiny, and only you can control it."

  I rolled my eyes. "That's stupid. I can't control what people do, what they did."

  Claius shook his head. "That's what I mean—you can't control others. But you can control you, and what you decide to do when life gets ugly."

  The leaves on the ground crunched under Claius’ feet as he stood up in one swift movement and turned towards me. "Robin, you've already done it."

  He reached over and gripped my hand tightly before pulling me up. "Now, I don't know what happened in that dungeon,” I went to open my mouth but at a stern look from Claius I stopped, and he continued, “but I do know it hurt you.” I clenched my eyes shut as memories better left alone assaulted my mind.

  "I also know that you're here and that while whatever happened injured your mind and maybe even your soul, it didn't destroy it. Because you, Robin, didn't let it. In fact, if anything... it made you stronger.”

  I opened my eyes again and glanced at Claius, the shadows of the trees playing across his face, and I wished I could have fallen for him. But right now, I couldn't even love myself. Which was why I told Jon in the first place to wait and let me figure things out.

  Maybe I was being too harsh on Jon, but as Claius stared at me reverently I somehow knew he would have waited for me.

  I took my hand out of his and walked around the tree, kicking up fallen leaves. “Whether that's true or not, what I do know is Smite is in trouble and Jon's not willing to listen.”

  I turned, only to pause at the sight of him stretching his giant body, then grabbing the limb above his head before letting go and walking toward me. With each step he took closer to me, the smaller I felt.

  “Why do you think something’s wrong?”

  I blew out a breath. “I might not know Smite that well, but Claius, something is wrong.” I emphasized my words, begging him to understand as I stared into his black eyes.

  When he didn't answer, I continued, “I know he would have contacted me by now. Plus, the last time we talked he said something was wrong and I haven't heard from him since.”

  Ready to be dismissed, as Jon had done so easily, I was surprised to see Claius nod. “Okay. If you think something’s wrong, then let's go get him.”

  I rolled my eyes at him, but inside my heart thumped excitedly at the prospect someone believed me.

  I wasn’t alone.

  But even with hope, I knew realistically it wasn’t possible. “We can't. Jon doesn't believe me. And he's not going to help us or allow anyone else to help with a cause he doesn't believe in.”

  Claius smiled. “Who said he doesn’t believe?”

  I kicked against the dirt under my boot and stared hard at my friend. “How about what he says, or the way he behaves, or maybe the fact he refuses to act even though the soldiers seem to be getting closer. You and I both know it’s only a matter of time before something happens.”

  Claius stood in front of me, blocking out the sun, and I took the opportunity to drink him in.

  If only I wasn’t broken. Here was a man who was not only beautiful, but also listened.

  After taking my hand in his, he held one of my fingers up and smiled. “I do believe, no matter what you think, that Jon is wrapped around this small, delicate finger.”

  I pulled away, but I still seemed to vibrate from his touch, and I didn’t know what to make of it. “Neither of those statements are true. He is not wrapped around my finger, and I am far from small or delicate.”

  Claius grasped my hand again, and tingles erupted up and down my arm while he traced his thumb over my wrist. Just small, innocent touches, but somehow they did more to me than anything had in the last few months since I had been imprisoned.

  Why?

  Maybe it was the fact he never pushed. Never asked. Though he never took, either. He was just there.

  Always.

  He stroked the calloused tips of my fingers, where years of archery and sword fighting had roughened them to hard perfection.

  I hated my hands. If there was one thing that proved how indelicate I was, it was them.

  My mother always said women needed to have beauty and grace.

  And I had grace… it was just my grace came when I had a weapon in my hand, instead of a needle.

  “Just because these are hard.” He gave my fingers a light squeeze before suddenly pressing his hand to my chest. His touch seemed to soak through my skin to the very center of me and my heart leaped at the closeness. “Doesn’t mean this is.”
>
  When he released me, I was left feeling unbalanced at his words and his deep stares. He seemed able to read me far better than I could myself.

  Claius truly saw me better than anyone.

  He understood what my nightmares did to me. He noticed the shudders that went through me when someone was loud or unpredictable.

  He knew all my issues.

  He knew sometimes broken couldn’t be fixed.

  But I think maybe he understood something better than I did… that broken didn't mean bad.

  It just meant different. Stronger.

  And that's why, with his hand on my chest, my stomach jumped with uneasiness but clenched for more at the same time.

  I was a conundrum, and yet somehow Claius understood every crushed and splintered piece of me.

  How Claius worked his way this close without me realizing or even understanding why, I didn’t know, but suddenly my body was reacting to a man for the first time in months.

  And not out of fear.

  Either ignoring or not caring about how he had put me off kilter, Claius turned away from me and looked into the forest. “Jon knows that. He knows the true you. He’s just running from you. Running from what he knows could either make or break him.”

  Were we talking about Jon... or him? Or maybe even me.

  Was I running?

  I shook my head slightly, pushing away the feeling that Claius shouldn’t be stirring in me and focused on the one thing I thought maybe I could handle.

  A mission.

  “Maybe he is but, in the process, he’s breaking my heart. So, what do I do, Claius? ‘Cause right now I can’t fight. I can’t save the girls or take back the crown when I can’t even save myself.”

  Claius smiled as if I’d finally said what he had been waiting for. “We can find you your people. Your tribe, so to speak, to help. But if we find you your people, Robin, hold on to them. Because when you can’t fight, they will fight for you, and when you fall, they will carry you. And Jon is one of those people, even if he is being an ass right now.”

  I smiled at his uncouth words. “And what about you? Are you my people, Claius?”